Saints Sergius & Bacchus,

Lovers.

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NOTE: The above image has been slightly altered for the use on this page.

Blessings of Same-Gender Couples

from the 5th to the 21st Century

The church has much to say about the value of committed relationships, spiritually, socially, and psychologically. This is emphasised in the sacrament of marriage for heterosexual couples. Clinical, pastoral, and actuarial evidence shows that coupling, committed relationships, and established intimacy are important for wholesome well-being to human beings, homosexual or heterosexual. However, the social supports for same-gender couples are weak, as forces both in the gay community and in the community at large tend to destabilise rather than strengthen such relationships.

Gay and lesbian persons often have had to fight or run from the very structures that should be promoting their spiritual and psychological health, often to their own detriment. Inconsistently, the church has often been more part of the problem than the solution. But in some small corners, things are starting to change.

To provide substantial church support for those gay persons who sought commitments within the context of their religious beliefs, in the early 1970's, the Episcopal bishop of Rochester, NY authorised a ministry to the gay community that allowed blessing of same-gender couples. The priest that has been given the ministry is Walter Lee Szymanski, and much of the information given here comes from his experience and articles.

The blessings are liturgical in nature, but are not presented as marriages per se, for several reasons including civil legality, and general misunderstanding of what a "gay marriage" would mean. The nature of heterosexual marriage is itself enough of an unclear issue. They are neither imitations nor parodies of heterosexual marriages. They are simply called blessings of commitment. The following is a formal statement drawn up by the Rochester ministry to support the rationale of the blessing of same gender couples:

"For centuries the church has blessed many things and many occasions. Notable missionary endeavours and congregations of people who have pledged their life to God have been blessed. So also the church blesses friendships, families and any two people who wish to commit their lives to each other and to Jesus Christ. The church acts appropriately in the best interests of the faith when it confers a blessing of commitment upon two individuals of the same gender when they seek to share a life together and to grow in the grace of God.

Whether in Matrimony or in the blessing of a particular couple's commitment, the church doesn't specifically bless an orientation or a particular mode of sexual behaviour. The church, however, blesses persons, regardless of orientation, who claim Jesus Christ to be their Lord and Saviour and who commit themselves as individuals or couples to the fellowship of the Church.

A major factor in this ministry is the serious preparation and instruction that precedes the ceremony. Counselling and evaluation equivalent to that for marriage are done, and as a result, the "success rate" of couples staying together for the long term are as good or better than that of the heterosexual marriages in the area. As of 1987, the latest year for which statistics were available, three years after they had been through the process, 75% of same-gender couples were still together."

The Church definitely can (and should) provide effective loving support for same-sex couples as well as for heterosexual couples. Clinical evidence implies a basic need for a wholesome, intimately affectionate, and long-term relationship with another person. For example, married people tend to live longer than single people.

Intimacy involves closeness between two persons, profound respect for each other, sharing of experiences and ideas, and a deep concern by one for the welfare of the other. Intimacy consists of a friendship so absorbing that it has no equal in any of the two participants' other relationships. We all have an essential inner nature which is intrinsic, given, and "natural". No psychological health is possible unless this essential core of the person is fundamentally accepted, loved, and respected by others and by oneself.

"Coming out of the closet" is a step toward this, but for many it is a painful and threatening process. Losing friends, family, or jobs still happen to many gay and lesbian persons as a result of being honest. There are few social outlets where gay and lesbian persons can meet one another openly and in a supportive environment which could lead to a development of significant friendships and relationships. Loneliness and isolation still are the major human issues in the gay community, more often than is found in most heterosexual circumstances.

Where gay persons have been able to establish on-going relationship or commitment with one another, more often than not that relationship is confronted with a general lack of support in the community at large, and even within the gay community. soon many gay persons find that long term commitments are so hard to develop that they give up on such hopes. The pursuit of substantial and wholesome intimacy often becomes too painful and frustrating to be worth the effort for many in the gay community.

In 1978, the House of Bishops of the Anglican Church of Canada issued a statement that gay and lesbian people are children of God and deserving of the ministry of the church, yet in the same statement explicitly forbid liturgical celebration of their relationships. Other American dioceses besides Rochester are now recognising the value of this ministry, and studying it or implementing it. It is high time that we in Canada take a hard look at what Christ would have us do, rather than what won't rock the boat. In the statement released by the House of Bishops of the Anglican Church of Canada in October 1997, they reaffirmed their position on same-sex unions while offering a few more supportive statements like:

As an expression of this love and care, the gospel of Jesus Christ compels Christians to oppose all forms of human injustice and to affirm that all persons are brothers and sisters for whom Christ died.....[to it's credit the House supported the passage of bill C-33 that made sexual orientation a prohibited ground for discrimination under the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms]...We call upon the church and all its members to continue to work to safeguard the freedom, dignity and responsibility of every person and to seek an end to discrimination..... [even though they deny us the right to the "Blessing of Covenanted Relationships"]....we recognise that some homosexuals live in committed sexual relationships for mutual support, help and comfort. We wish to continue open and respectful dialogue with those who sincerely believe that sexuality expressed within a committed homosexual relationship is God's call to them, and we affirm our common desire to seek together the fullness of life revealed in Christ......[and so they do not rock the boat as they continue to].....disagree among ourselves whether such relationships can be expressions of God's will and purpose.

1500 Years of Blessing Gay and Lesbian Relationships:

It's nothing new to the Church

The late Dr. John Boswell, was Chair of the History Department at Yale University, has written two books of detailing the way that the church has viewed homosexuals through some 2000 years of it's history. The first, Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality was a landmark when published in 1980. The second, Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe, published in 1994, has also been well received. Both books demonstrate that the Church has not always been as hostile to its homosexual members as it has been in recent centuries.

Dr. Boswell has located hundreds of manuscripts and prayer books which contain rites for blessing a particular relationship, or marriage like union between two men or two women. The manuscripts, in various libraries including the Vatican itself, date back to the 8th century, and references go back as far as the 5th century. Boswell beginshis book by examining the language of love and marriage in the classical and early Christian eras, as well as the meaning and mechanics of actually getting married. He discusses Saints Sergius and Bacchus, and Philip and Bartholomew, pair saints who are almost always invoked in these cerimonies. Along the way he traces the evolution of moral strictures against homosexuality, and he ends with the eventual prohibition of the cerimonies by bishops in the 17th century.

Sergius and Baccus are offically recognised saints, martyrs of the early fourth century. They were high-ranking Roman soliders serving and eventually suffering martyrdom under a pagan emperor. In Greek hagiography, they are called erasti (lovers). As they were being martyred, Bacchus died first, and when Sergius' faith was starting to waver, Bacchus appeared to him in a vision to encourage him to hold fast, and promised, "your reward [for keeping true to Christ] is me." They are invoked as an example of love between two men as a means of developing a stronger faith and attaining spiritual perfection.

Dr. Boswell has saved the best for last. He has transcribed in an appendix every manuscript of these ceremonies he has discovered. He has also translated them, and included heterosexual marriage ceremonies for comparison. Those who wish could actually use these rites in their own same-sex unions, and undoubtedly ceremonies have already taken place which draw on their imagery and prayer.

Others planning union cerimonies can also consult Daring to Speak Love's Name, a prayer book for lesbians and gays compiled by Dr. Elizebeth Stuart (OUT OF PRINT). All of these books are available through the Anglican Book Centre in Toronto (416)924-9192.